Shut down the ports.

So I'm browsing the local news website (it's my homepage, look how savvy I can be!), and I come across this story. I had to read it because a) I think that people freaking out about this are hilariously uneducated about the world around them and b) I enjoy reading stupid people freaking out post comments equating everything to their hatred of 1) a political party or 2) a regional people which are usually 2a) the native indians or 2b) the french. For reals, Canadians are just as bigoted and xenophobic as the rest of the world....we just hide it better. If any other country knew the level of intolerance that a vast number of Canadians exhibit, their people wouldn't be slapping the maple leaf on their backpacks.

Seriously.

Anyway.


And within the comments (which are usually fucking ridiculous and insane) I find this perfect gem:

"The media has to bring to attention the fact that PEOPLE ARE DYING!!! this is like a communicable form of cancer people!!! If it weren't for the appropriate media response to the PANDEMIC, people coughing in Brazil would have caused the president of Madagscar to shut down everything. If that happened, millions of people would be dying. We all know that when Madagascar shuts everything down, everybody else in the world dies. So please people, keep panicking, it's the only appropriate, rational response to this virus that will kill us all."


I actually woke B up to read this to him. WOKE HIM UP. Now if you'll excuse me.....I'm off to try and kill the citizens of Madagascar with a viral infection with a long incubation time so they don't shut down their fucking ports. One time I SWEAR they were the first country that fell to my pandemic wrath. It was awesome and of course I have no witnesses.

They all died suffering for lengthy amounts of time.

*steeples fingers and laughs maniacally*